Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
