the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
