do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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