Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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