just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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