I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
