It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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