Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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