I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
