I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
