he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You're like the curious george of whores
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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