He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
