birth control should be required to get into college
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
