Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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