forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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