I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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