Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
