she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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