i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
