idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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