I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
