i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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