the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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