I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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