Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
