I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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