You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
