There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
