i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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