fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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