Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
