Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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