I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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