It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
