You work out of a Hotel?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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