People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
