As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
