I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
