This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
