I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
