shes about as inviting as chlamydia
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
