I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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