I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
