I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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