You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
