Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
