Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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