Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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