I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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