OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
