guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
