His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
