Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
