love makes seman taste better
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
